I’m wondering about attachment and transference with the therapist and the idea of escape and fantasy? How much do you think your strong feelings, constant thoughts, desires to be with your therapist are a way to escape from your present life? I wonder if the transference serves another purpose than to show us our wounds and/or past experiences, but is a present coping strategy for managing what we don’t want to face (even if unconsciously) in the present—-current relationships, life circumstances, etc. Can anyone relate to this concept of escape in relation to their therapy relationship? How does this play out for you?
07.06.2025 01:17
Yes, this is relatable. I realized somewhat recently that I had been substituting my need for emotional intimacy in my marriage with being intimate with my therapist. Like instead of relying on my spouse for support, I often didn’t mention it and just waited until therapy. Unfortunately that leads to marriage issues. We “should” be leaning on our partners for support and then supplementing that with therapy. I feel so much more rewarded in therapy for sharing compared to with my husband, who often doesn’t respond “the right way” or who has his own needs. I have been trying to undo this pattern and it has really helped my marriage! Emotional intimacy is key for a healthy partnership.